✈️ Why It’s Hard for Me to Settle

People always ask why I am single. For me, the answer has less to do with dating and more to do with how much life I’ve already lived. I have traveled across continents and had conversations that stretch far beyond my own neighborhood. I can talk about what is happening in Asia, what the weather is like in Africa, and then switch right back to what is happening here in America. My mind is wide and my perspective is big. That makes it hard to connect when someone only wants to talk about the same small things every day.

I get bored when the conversation has no depth. I want someone who is curious about the world and open to different perspectives. When I meet people who cannot relate, it feels like we are not even speaking the same language. That is why it is hard for me to settle.

Now I’ll be real. Sometimes I let it slide when there’s no real connection. At that point it usually just turns into what it is… sex, money, and vibes. If the vibe is fun, the D is decent, and you can throw some money around or even take me on a trip, then sure, I’ll stick around and enjoy it. But let’s be clear, that’s not a relationship. That’s just fun. And fun can only hold my attention for so long before I’m ready for something deeper.

Money is another part of it. I am not a gold digger. I do not want money just to have money. But the truth is the life I live requires it. Traveling takes money. Freedom takes money. Building the kind of independence I have built takes money. I already make sure I can take care of myself. So if a man cannot keep up with me financially it does not work. I do not want to pull someone along. I want a partner who can walk beside me.

On top of that I know I am attractive and ambitious. I know my body looks good and I know I carry myself in a way that can be intimidating. My life can overwhelm people. I understand why some men back away but I cannot shrink myself or pretend to be less than what I am. The bottom line is I am not single because I cannot find love. I am single because I refuse to settle for less than the life I already know is possible.

✨ I actually wrote about this in more detail in Why I’m Single. In Chapter 2, I talk about how hard it is to connect with people who don’t share the same mindset or life experiences. If you enjoyed this post, grab the full book here: Why I’m Single – The eBook.